Von Gabriel Silva
When he has his personal issues, Holt doesn't like to bring them into the workplace. Unless it's about wuntch. If she enters the precinct all bets are void...
IfBrooklyn Neun-NeunCaptain Raymond Holt conquered the hearts of the fans with his humor when it was first broadcast.As many fans knowHolt's sense of humoris a bit dry. Sometimes fans can't even tell if he's joking or not. That's not to say his humor hasn't failed to evoke hearty laughs from audiences, however.
RELATED:The 15 best Captain Holt quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Especially when it comes to his nemesis, Madeline Wuntch. When it comes to the commissioner, Holt doesn't hold back with insults. Holt has effectively "roasted" Wuntch multiple times with insults so clever that he has fans crying with laughter hours later. As Holt once said, they were "star-crossed haters."
SCREENRANT-VIDEO OF THE TAGES
"So much time with your ear to the pavement, too bad a truck didn't run over your head." (2.05)
In the second season, the fifth episode of the series, the team has to deal with internal affairs. Convinced there's a mole in the departmentJake and Captain HoltLook for clues as to who it might be. On the way, Holt gets a visit from Wuntch. After Wuntch's polite "hello," Holt is already done with his comebacks.
It originally begins with the birds having stopped singing when she is in the precinct. When she says she's under investigation, Holt replies with the line above that it's a shame she wasn't run over.
"It's probably Madeline. Cockroaches give off a slimy secretion." (6.18)
It's always fun to get the opportunity to name your nemesis cockroach. Holt saw the opportunity and took it with ease. In Suicide Squad, the squad has no choice but to turn to the people they dislike the most for help. This also includes Vulture and Wuntch.
As he finalizes the game plan, Jake is happy to call himself "Suicide Squad" and rushes to sit down. But Charles realizes someone's hand is sticky. CJ says he might be, but Holt has other ideas. He claims it's Wuntch because she's a cockroach. Wuntcht tries to shoot back but it's not that good.
"I need a witness in case her head starts spinning or she turns into a wolf." (2.14)
In "Defense Rests", Wuntch turns to Holt for help. Holt learns that she plans to move away from Brooklyn to another police force and asks for a recommendation. When she first shows up at the precinct, Holt asks Rosa to stay as a witness.
He says the line above. Fans of the horror film genre would perfectly understand what Holt is referring to. He compares Wutch tothe possessed girl from The Exorcist, known for turning her heads. Talk about scary and goosebumps. What better way to describe Wuntch?
"Describe your breakfast." (3.01)
To better understand this insult, viewers must watch the entire scene. Holt is transferred to a new precinct and greeted by Wuntch. Holt is ready as he tells Wuntch that it was nice of her to say hello. He was sure she was still crushed under the house in Munchkin country.
Wuntch is motionless and says "Stick and stone, Raymond." But Holt doesn't let her get away and replies, "Describe your breakfast." Hook, line and sinker.
"And mine is a forked-tongued lizard witch." (3.04)
Unfortunately, Wuntch wasn't there to experience the sting of that insult from Holt. In The Oolong Slayer, Jake enlists Holt's help in finding a serial killer. While investigating, they are suspended by Wuntchand The Vulture. However, Jake and Holt decide to defy their bosses' wishes and decide to meet secretly.
Though Holt is reluctant, Jake manages to persuade him by pointing to their terrible bosses.The Vulture has tried many times to ruin Jake's career and personal life. Holt feels he can relate to the situation and likens Wuntch to a "fork-tongued lizard" with the added bonus of a "witch".
"Yeah, I never thought I'd see you so high up without a broomstick beneath you." (2.22)
It's clear that Holt thinks Wuntch is as evil as a witch and uses it to his advantage when insulting. When Jake, Holt and Boyle need resources to track down a killer, they enlist Wuntch's help and head to her new office to talk. Wuntch is excited about her new office and that it's on the 20th floor.
Holt agrees that the office is nice. However, for Holt, no compliment goes without an insult. He explains that he could never have imagined Wuntch so high in the sky without her broomstick. Holt's ability to keep a straight face makes it even more hilarious.
"The only way I'll die is if you touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the River Styx, reaper." (6.18)
This insult also comes from the "Suicide Squad" episode. There are many complex levels of this offense to analyze, but in the end it's an incredible burn. The scene unfolds with Jake and Holt going to Wutch and asking for help. She says how parched his face has become, to which Holt says he now understands why Jake called it a "Suicide Squad."
Holt still wasn't finished. In fact, he then proceeds to give the best and most complex insult. He makes fun of her bony fingers and compares them to the Grimm Reaper. The way Braugher delivers it is just perfect.
"Would you like to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves." (2:23)
In"Johnny and Dora"Holt enlists Gina and Terry to collect a letter that could prove Wuntch was conspiring against him. In the interrogation room, Holt is anything but polite and how he says the above insult. He refers to Wuntch having cloven hooves and Wuntch takes it as Holt calling her the devil.
But Holt had another meaning. He just called her a goat. If you analyze the insult in more detail, there is a version of the devil, depicted as a goat.
"Boston? But it's so close to Salem. (2.14)
Holt could write a whole book about his best insults about wuntch. One of Holt's best insults comes from the episode "Defense Rests". As previously mentioned, Wuntch is planning to leave Brooklyn to take a new job. She explains that she's the top candidate for a job at Boston PD.
Holt couldn't let this one opportunity slip because it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Boston is famous for its historyabout the Salem witch trialswhere countless women were accused and killed. Holt addresses this and asks if she is aware of what going to Boston could lead to.
"But if you are here, who is guarding Hades?" (2.02)
Holt's knowledge of Greek mythology is impressive, especially when used as ammunition to offend Wuntch. At the start of season two, Holt is surprised when his longtime rival shows up at the precinct for an assessment. At first, Holt says it's nice to see her, but the insult comes right after.
He says that when she's in the precinct, nobody is guarding Hades - the god of the underworld. Essentially, he called her dog since Cereberus guarded the gates of hell. Simple but effective.